Confirmation favoritism

If you are on a weight loss program, you adjust our diet and every morning you will check your weight on weighing scale.

If you notice your weight less than before, you give a pat on your back and you consider diet is working well.

If you notice your weight shows increase you consider it's a normal fluctuation and you tend to write-off and put a notice 'forget it'.

The next day and for the coming days, similar things happen, the weight does not show any significant change from before and you live in an illusion that the diet is working well, although the weight remains almost constant.

This is known as 'confirmation favoritism.'

'Confirmation favoritism' is the origin of all misconceptions for us.

It is nothing but a tendency to interpret new sets of information so that it becomes compatible and falls in line with our existing theories, beliefs, and convictions. If we have to say in other words, we tend to filter out any new information or signals that contradict or do not agree with our existing set of theories or views.

This is dangerous because you dismiss or ignore the 'exceptional' or 'special cases' information which is basically disconfirming evidence.

To get out of  'Confirmation favoritism', look for disconfirming pieces of evidence and signal, note it down and try to work upon it.

Confirmation favoritism could be an intellectual offense that can't be ruled out easily.

Survivorship influence

Behind every successful best-seller author, there are authors whose books are never sold. Behind them, there are authors whose unfinished manuscripts are still lying in one corner of a writing table collecting dust. Behind them, there are authors who dream of one day- writing a book. We only hear about the successful authors and would not know about many of them who could not reach that stage. Knowing about such authors tells us how unlikely literary success actually is.
This holds good for photographers, artists, painters, athletes, musicians, beauty queens, ramp walkers, television show presently, architect and entrepreneurs, and many more....!!!
All these unsuccessful people are somewhere in graveyards and mind well the media and publicity people are no longer interested in digging graveyard to pull out these unsuccessful people.

This is called 'survivorship influence'.
If you have to elude the survivorship influence, you need to do digging yourself.

Survivorship influence can become extremely harmful and can cause significant damage when you start assuming yourself as a member of a winning team. What it means, even if your success is just popped up by mere coincidence, you will start comparing yourself with other winners and discover similarities with them and you will be tempted to believe theses as success factors.

Survivorship influence means you systematically start overestimating your chances of success.
It's important to guard against it by frequently, visiting the graveyards of those unsuccessful but promising people.

The term 'Availability bias'

Recently the term 'availability Bias' made me curious to know more about it.

What is availability bias?

 It means we create a picture or an image of the world using the examples or the information which comes easy to our mind.

With availability bias, we tend to travel with incorrect risk in our heads.

What it means really?

It means, we systematically overestimate the risk of being the victim of a plane crash or head-on car accident or getting murdered or killed.

On the other hand, we underestimate the risk of fatality from less spectacular ways such as diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol, or cancer.

The chances of enemy fighter plane crossing our borders and doing bomb attacks on us are much rarer while the risk of suffering from depression is much higher.

Why we don't understand this simple fact? Maybe because we attach too many possibilities to spectacular outcomes. Anything, silent or low profile or invisible we don't register importance in our mind.

That is because we think dramatically more than quantitatively.

We need to overcome this 'availability bias' mindset the soonest.

You need to oil your hinges.

" Big doors swing on small hinges."

I find this thought so wonderful.

It so happens that we don't see the hinges on the door. Either we don't notice or we overlooked them. Although they are small in size yet without them the door will not swing.

Our attitudes, too are kind of our hinges on which our life doors swing.

The wrong or improper attitude will cause wear and tear. If not taken care of at the right time it will drop the door down or hang it in between, unsafe.

We can't control life's happenings whether negative or positive.

Those are life's variables not in our control. What we can do is how to cope up with them.

To keep our attitude intact, you need to oil your hinges.

It's time to take lessons

This time a virus has reminded all of us that the enemy will not necessarily come in the form of soldiers, fighter planes, or a warship crossing our borders.

Nations have to change their mindset and prepare themselves to deal with this. If not then the damage that would cause will be beyond our comprehension.

The world spends trillion dollars on their defense budget however their spending on medical research looking at the problems humankind is facing would be very low.

We haven't learnt this before, however, it's still not late to correct our mistakes and can build upon from the basics.

Ethical contamination

Recently I came across the term 'Ethical Contamination'.
Ethical Contamination is something -  you found out the unethical behavior of a person whose work you admire or you appreciate.
You may condemn their behavior but still admire their work.
That is because people are mixtures of qualities that you can admire and other qualities that you condemn.

Take the Ferrari out from the garage.

Ferraris are more than a dream car.

You need to qualify to dream of having Ferrari.

It has everything of superior class much above than any luxurious car- phenomenal power, brilliant handling, and amazing sporty looks.

And that is why people who possess Ferrari keep it in the garage.

They don’t use it like a normal car.

They always afraid of getting damaged in traffic or scratched or to the extent perhaps it might even get stolen, so people are too anxious to drive it on roads.

What we call this – a sheer waste? To have a Ferrari and keep it in the garage like a showpiece.

Well, it would be also waste if we also behave like those Ferrari owners.

It would be a sheer waste if we had skills, talents, capabilities, experiences, and passions but we were too afraid to use them.

It would be a waste if the dreams and aspirations that we have are never realized and remain in our heads.

It would be a waste if we have lived a life of unfulfilled potential because we were hesitant to do what we could have done.

Don’t let this happen. Take charge, explore your talent, skill, capabilities, and experience to succeed.

Take the Ferrari out from the garage!

Be thankful...

Recently I have come across a beautiful poem however I don’t know who the original author is.

Anyway, whoever is the author full credit to Him or Her and whoever the people who have shared this poem on different social media platforms big thank you for this beautiful poem which we all can relate with.

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,

If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something,

It gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times,

During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,

Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,

Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes,

They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary,

Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Whatever our situation may be, there’s something for which we remain thankful always.

Do coaches have to be "Better" than those they coach?

Do coaches necessarily have to be  "Better" than those they coach?

Most people often confuse or link coaching with teaching and training.
In teaching, we always believe and expect our maths teacher to have all geometry theorems and riders on their tip of the fingers.
We expect our trainer to be an expert on the subject he is imparting the training.

This implies that the person performing the coaching is better than the person receiving coaching.

They are nearly always more experienced no doubt, however particularly in sports they may not be "better" than the player they are offering coaching.

For example, the number one ranked player in tennis will not have anyone better than him in the world at that moment and yet they still receive extensive coaching from his coach.

Does it make some sense?

Why would the number one ranked player in the world listen to someone who is not as good as him and still it is equally true that his coach surely can teach him a thing or two the player still don't know.
A coach gives him a few tips which the player is not aware of.

That's why Coaches not necessarily have to be 'better' than those they are coaching.

It's notthe size of the dog in the fight..

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight that determines who wins.

It’s how smart you are that will determine the level of your win.

Or how well-connected you are.

Or how you use your natural talent that determines your success.

It has nothing to do with what you look like, or how tall you are or how strongly built you are.

It is said, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog that determines the win.

It’s about how badly you want it.

How much you are willing to lose to get something.

How quickly you bounce back from your setback.

Do you plan your fight or you fight to plan?

How much and to what extent you are willing to roll up your sleeves and go for it.

Do it before...

Before you are nominated as a leader… start leading.

Before you become a coach… coach at least a few from your experience.

Before you are given responsibility… volunteer the responsibility.

Before someone recognizes the teacher in you…make students and teach them.

Before the music company offers you an album…spread your music by yourself.

Before you go out and try to change the world… try to change yourself.

Don’t wait till someone choose you for some performance… offer yourself.

Don’t wait till someone commands you to get ready… be always ready.

Because if you don’t do it before, you may never get a chance to do it at all.

Everything starts with a blank page!

Everything starts with a blank page!


Every great author starts writing his story with a blank page.

Every great novel was a blank page before.

Later it becomes a best-seller novel.

Every musical composition starts with a blank manuscript.

Later it becomes the most popular music composition.

In the beginning, the composer jots down his first notation on a blank page only.

Every power-point presentation starts with a blank page (slide).

For every awesome motivational speech, the first line of the speech was written on a blank page.

Every masterpiece painting starts on a blank canvas.

And every single day you begin with a blank ‘to-do list’ as well.

The best-seller novel, popular composition, awesome presentation, masterpiece painting, or highly productive day that you have stored within you doesn’t happen until you start to put something on your first blank page.

Yes, t’s ok if it’s not perfect at the first attempt.

And probably it won’t be perfect at the end too.

You will have to edit, re-write, scrap it, erase it, tear it off, and perhaps even start right from the beginning once again, but…you need to start.

If you don’t do anything on your first blank page, all that you will be left with yet another blank page.

So get your blank piece of paper out.

Look at it.

Plan your things.

And start acting on it.

Are you really winning?

Are you really winning?

Successful people know well that life isn’t about winning against people around you, but winning with those around you. A simple thing, we do understand but fail to implement.

Imagine if you really can influence people to work with and for you, instead of preparing a battleground against you.

Imagine that your ideas are so exciting and convincing that people couldn’t help but are compelled to work upon them.

Imagine if people feel awesome and are curious to ask how you did it, rather than rationalizing your actions and start doubting the outcome.

Imagine if people around you as partners to work with, and not opponents to be defeated.

Imagine if you are celebrating your victories with people whom you love and hold high regards in your heart, rather than remaining in isolation with a hollow feeling inside you.

Imagine if you have won just once and you found everyone working against you, on the other hand, you win regularly with a team of people who are working with you and working for you.

Now that is what called winning.

It's ok if it is delayed..!

What if your progress is slower than how you anticipated?

What if others seem to be luckier than you to get there before you?

What if your mind got distracted and had to make a bad decision?

What if the recognition and fame that you deserve had taken a long time to come to limelight?

We all know that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it’s perfectly okay if it takes years to achieve your goals?

All great achievements take time.

It may take years…does not matter.

A delay can help us to know how badly we want that.

A delay can help us to make a strong foundation.

A delay can teach us to think out of box way.

A delay can teach us to remain productive while waiting.

A delay can teach us to appreciate the progress, no matter how slow it is.

A delay can teach us to remain grateful for what we have received.

A delay it not a denial. Just because something isn’t happening now, that doesn’t mean it’s not for us.

If you’re going through a tough time right now and something isn’t quite working out yet, hang in there. Find reassurance in knowing that a delay can actually benefit you.

You may not see it now, but hold on to this faith. This will help you find inner peace and enable you to keep taking action so you can get closer to what it is you want.

Compassion in a recent pandemic.

If you review past history, whenever a disaster struck, generally people are moved by compassion and they usually come together and help each other.
But, it is equally true that pandemics are experienced as notable exceptions, historically, all over.

If you consider the past earthquakes, wildfires and hurricanes incidences, we have observed that people United and unify.
However, throughout history, pandemics have been known to produce a detached kind of mindset and survival of the fittest kind of mentality.

It is important to understand why do pandemics result in less compassion than other types of disasters the world has experienced earlier.

The main reason is fear.
If we’re afraid of each other, naturally it will drive us apart.

On the other hand, if it is a hurricane, or earthquake or wildfire,  where people unite against a visible, external enemy.
An enemy you can see with your own eyes.

While in the case of a pandemic, the enemy is invisible and can be inside the people around us. We are unsure about who is healthy and who is infected. We can't make out from whom we face threats and who are safe to mingle with.

Further, the norms of “social distancing” and maintaining a minimum of 6 ft. distance from others, to limit the spread of the virus drives us apart, not together.

We need to develop an understanding of adherence to social distancing as compassion for others.

Let us convince ourselves that we are together in this pandemic, and we will get through this pandemic together.

why aren't there more succeesful coaches out there?

The bitter truth is that most people who start coaching businesses wind up in a shorter span of time.

Well, nothing specific about coach and coaching business. 

This holds good for any industry, or any startups. 

Yes, most entrepreneurs fail. But it's particularly of more concern for me and I feel unhappy about seeing it happen to coaches because these are the people who want to unleash the potential of their own and more often they are really good at it.


Business coach helps entrepreneurs by mentoring them to face business challenges, helps them to solve challenges, and attain growth.


If they can do for others, what makes them fail to attain the same growth and momentum in their own coaching business?

Most coaches can't consistently generate enough client base to keep their business afloat.
Why aren't there more successful coaches out there?

I know as a Leader...

One of the greatest learnings I received from my as a leader is that you have to be flexible and open enough to adapt to changing requirements of the people and business.
A lot of the things in relations and business are often unknown.
When you are working on specific projects, you know what you are working on right now and what you are going to be working on next week or week after or even next month.
Your ability to deliver is on your capabilities if not all the times but most of the time.
When you are a leader in an organization, things could change more frequently and abruptly, you are no longer in control of most of the things around you.
But, still, as a leader, you are expected to deal with all these, effectively and efficiently towards set organization goals.
You can’t mandate market, seasonality, or people’s desires.
The role of a leader is to shield his team from constant changes and noise from the outside so they can focus on delivering value for customers.
From experience, the job of a leader can be truly impactful through processes, products, and most importantly, through people.

Transforming leaders into mindful leaders.

The environment we live in and work in is constantly evolving.
Time is now often measured in microseconds. Your abilities and your capabilities are termed as bandwidth.
The different kind of tasks you perform simultaneously and can control multiple teams is your span of control.
Every day we face new and complex economic and resource constraints at our organization levels.
We are attached to an array of technological devices and gadgets that are constantly generated anxiety-producing information.
This information overload and a sense of disconnection which we experience that can overwhelm and isolate us from the rest of the world.
The world is changing so rapidly that people who are trained today may find their career path radically altered by the time they are ready to enter it.
One paradigm after another is shifting and unfolding newer and unknown challenges to counter.
Our today's leaders have to develop a coping mechanism to handle these challenges.
Our leaders can no longer afford to make decisions with distracted minds. They can not react instead of respond.
Meditation is becoming an inherent tool to become mindful leaders
Meditation is used to Transforming Leaders into Mindful Leaders.
To become a mindful leader, you must understand the distinction between trying to improve yourself versus experiencing who you already are.
It's very important how with the help of meditation Leaders can put mindfulness into action and make us a better leader.

Sooner we get on the right track!

No one wants to be wrong.

But often we are.

Sooner we find out, it will be easy to correct.

No one wants to travel on the wrong route.

But inevitably you miss the route sometimes.

Sooner we find out, quicker we come back.

No one wants to hurt someone’s feelings.

But unknowingly we do.

Sooner we realize, lesser the damage we cause.

No one like an honest feedback.

Sooner we accept, faster we improve.

No one like to overpower someone.

But still, we do, may be unintentionally.

Sooner we accept, better we create consensus.

No one approve cheating.

But, still, we do cheating here and there

Sooner we curb, better we portray our image.

We all do something wrong one or the other ways.

But the sooner we realize that we’re wrong, the sooner we can get it right.

Elevator people

We all are elevator persons.

We either lift others up or bring them down.

We either look for the positives or the negatives in our situations.

We either encourage or discourage people.

We either support or isolate people.

We either look for reasons to praise or criticize people.

We help people to achieve their dreams, or we hold them back.

We coach and develop others, or we shunt their growth journey.

We either pretend to listen to them or wait for our turn to speak.

There is no reason for us to believe that we don’t belong to ‘this’ type.

We all are from ‘this’ type, in more or less.

What we say (or what we don’t say) and what we do ( or we don’t do but the way we respond) to life and the happenings around us, has an influence on the people around us, no matter whether you are a most influencing personality or a reserved and introvert in nature.

So, we need to confess honestly with our own consciousness.

Are we lifting others up, or bringing them down?

Press a 'Button', you have just two options

When you’re in the basement, you can take lift only in the UP direction.

When you’re in the penthouse, DOWN is the only option available.

When you’re somewhere in the middle floors, the choice is yours…either UP or DOWN.

When you are in the lift you have only two direction options, you can’t go sideways.

As you get inside the lift, you have to choose a button to go up or down.

It is the same with our life.

Once, you have chosen the course of life, you either go FORWARD (Up) or BACKWARD (Down).

You don’t choose to go sideways.

Going sideways means you are moving out of course.

You can take a PAUSE to recover.

When your life is moving on a course it is as good as you are moving on a track.

Taking sideways is like de-railing.

It’s not easy to put derailed wagon back on track of its own.

You need external help.

The derailed wagon gets the last priority and less importance to get back on track.

Derailed means loss of time, loss of importance, and loss of direction sometimes.

So, when your life is on track, you have only two options Forward (Up) or Backward ( Down)

You may take a small PAUSE in between but you can’t stay on the same level for long.

Press a ‘button’. You have just two options.

We need to become masterful at navigating our emotions.

In last four months, the whole world has been through a lot, collectively, . . . from the fear of the pandemic, stress, and anxiety to survive and save our lives to the displaced anger, outburst, resentment, and sadness over racial injustices.

We are going through a time of great uncertainty and emotional turmoil.

It is a time when we are asking a lot of questions with seemingly not a lot of answers.

It is a time when we are craving leadership but do not know exactly who to look to.

Yet it is also a time when people are trying to find out the certainty, answers, and leadership within. It is a time when we are each being called to look deep within and expose our own limiting beliefs, conditioned fears, and racial biases.

It is a time to experience and become sensitive to the feelings at large and move through them so we do not act from a place of pure emotion and sentiment.

It is a time to do our own findings to seek the ‘truth’ rather than believe what outside sources tell us and force us to believe.

In fact, it is the time of empowerment.

Empowerment is not about having power over another, in fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Most people who exert power over another have deep insecurities within them which they are compensating for.

When we are empowered, we believe and trust ourselves so much so that we never look at others  as “better than” or “less than.” We don’t make a comparison.

When we are empowered, we use the powerful force of our compassion, EQ, and IQ for the well-being of our fellow human beings.

Please do not give your power away to any person, or an organization or set of belief systems unless you ensure it would work there.

Please do not let anyone tell you who you are how you should be. Use your own personal power to be a voice for those who feel disempowered, weak or less privileged

Most of the time what blocks us or prevent us from embodying empowerment is our pent up emotions,

Each one of us had times in our lives when we felt hurt, unheard, denied, ignored, rejected, or misunderstood. 

Usually, when that kind of thing happens, we did not have the maturity to express our anger or sadness about it in a legitimate way.

So, we stuff it deep inside within us and then one fine day we vent out our perturbed emotions in most indecent, inappropriate and illegitimate and unlawful ways, which hurt the entire society oa n larger scale.

We need to become masterful at navigating our emotions and putting justified anger to good use.

you are probably already lost!

Do you take part in the game to come first, or you are satisfied with not coming last?

Do you want to achieve something extra-ordinary, or you are satisfied being mediocre?

Do you want to be a great leader, or you are contented being an average leader?

Do you believe in inspiring others to achieve greatness, or you are not inspired enough to share your views and experiences?

Do you want to be an outstanding performer in your field, or you are just happy to manage no criticism?

Do you want to think out of the box, or you are contented to think within the lines?

Do you want to push yourself to newer challenges, or you are happy to remain in your comfort zone?

Do you want to contribute towards making the world a better place or you are happy with whatever way the world is now?

Do you want to win anyhow, or you are contented with not to lose?

Because if you aim to win, you give yourself a chance of winning. If you don’t aim to win, you lose every single chance to succeed.

But if you’re just happy with not losing, you’ve probably already lost!

New habits are like new pair of shoes.

When we buy a new pair of shoes for the first few days new shoes are a bit uncomfortable.

It pinches at some places, it gives blisters, it squeezes end fingers, etc…

They make you remind about the comfort of old shoes.

But you can’t switch back to old ones.

Those shoes are old, the leather has lost its shine at some places, stitches are peeled off at some places, few cracks developed on the bottom.

In short, you can’t go back to the old pair of shoes.

They don’t need anymore, have to be discarded.

Similarly, with habits too.

New habits are like those new pair of shoes.

No doubt, they’re uncomfortable in the beginning.

It will make you feel that you would like to go back to your old ways.

But you shouldn’t if you want to progress in life, move ahead in your career, to make a better version of yours.

Those old habits need to be left behind, they will not be helpful anymore on your way ahead.

It’s true, you’ll limp in the beginning. But you have to keep going and stick with it.

Slowly you will get used to it and you will become better with each passing day.

which wire to cut?

Which wire to cut?

I am diffusing a bomb, do I cut the red wire or the blue wire?

Blue or red?

Red or blue?

Sweat dripping from the forehead, the clock continues to count down.

10, 9, 8, 7…

There’s a big dilemma. Hands are shaking, confidence is shattering, the heart is sinking.

Do nothing?

Everyone will blow off for sure.

Cut a wire, any wire?

I stand a 50% chance of success.

Inevitably, you cut a wire and everyone sighs with relief when the ticking of the clock stops.

What about our life?

We all have tough decisions to make sometimes- can be regarding our careers, our finances, our relationships, our kid’s education, our relocation to other cities, our health, and other important matters.

What would you do in such a situation?

You think you need to do and do nothing.

Or you don’t what to do, and do nothing.

Or you know what you need to do but because you aren’t 100% sure, hence do nothing.

Time is elapsing and we all know what would happen next.

Tick, tick, tick…clock, and then Boom!

Or you gather courage and make a decision in your mind- ‘you will cut the blue wire.’

You are saved, you advanced further, you found a better job, your financial situation improved, you could save your relationship, your kids got into a better school, you happily settled in a new city…and many more such things.
Cut the blue wire at the right time.

It's not that hard.

A few days ago I was engaged with one young aspirant who was struggling with his present job and wanted to switch over but was not able to decide upon.

Every time he wanted to take any action, he was holding it back saying- ‘It’s hard’, ‘It’s difficult’, ‘It’s not possible’.

Even during our conversation, he kept saying over and over again.

“It’s hard.”

“It’s difficult.”

“It’s not possible.”

I allowed him to speak as much he wanted to brief me about his various pain points.

He wanted to take actions but he was finding it difficult.

As we spoke, at the end of our conversation I advise him to write down on a piece of paper two words “not that” and I asked him to add in his sentences he spoke to me during our conversation.

In the first instance, he did not understand what I was asking him to do.

Later, I explained that instead of saying, “It’s hard,” he should say, “It’s not that hard.”

It was a different way of validating the challenge without looking at its negative effect.

It would provide a different way of looking at those challenges.

Yes, it’s difficult, but by adding ‘not that’ it sounds more manageable and less discouraging.

This can be applied in various other contexts.

Taking rejection is difficult.

Instead, put it as taking rejection is not that difficult.

Accepting our own weakness is difficult.

Instead, put it as accepting our own weakness is not that difficult.

Running the business smoothly is a daunting task.

Or running a business is not that daunting task.

Life is really hard.

Or, life is not really that hard. 

And many more such life challenges we can convert to ‘not that’ and can minimise the impact.

We all are facing a number of life challenges that are really hard.

But let us learn to say that they’re not that hard!

what matter the most is what you beleive in.

In everyday life we hear more than once a voice:

“You can’t!”

Yes, we do hear that voice yet just only one, “You can!” will keep us going even if we don’t see anyone saying and that voice might have come from within.

On the other hand, we would be hearing a lot of:

“You can!” 

But with one voice, “You can’t!” would stop our feet and we tend to give up, and the inner voice would also change its tone to ‘you can’t’.

This is not a game to take averages of the two.

It’s also not about whether we hear more encouragement than discouragement.

It’s about which voice you are looking for, which affirmation you like to hear, which message you let sink into your mind, and which message you want your heart to believe.

It doesn’t matter who believes that whether you can or you can’t!

But what matters the most is what you believe in!