You don't know what I am going through...!!

 

You don’t know how I am suffering..!!

When you are suffering with your mental health and when you are with absolute low energy, it will be extremely unpleasant and damaging to hear views like, ‘there are others who are in worse condition than yours’, ‘You should be glad that you haven’t lost everything, at least you have something to hold upon’, ‘It’s all understood but essentially you should, rise above it all’.  

There seems to be mistaken belief that just because others have unpleasant experiences and sighting this should somehow make you feel better. People don’t understand that just because terrible things happen to other people it doesn’t lessen your pain.  

Moreover, people need to reckon and acknowledge that you are not ‘them’, you don’t share their biology structure, experiences, situations and background.

People need to accept that although they might be able to respond to their thoughts and feelings in the way they wanted to, but not everyone can. There are some of us who get hooked by our thoughts, we find it difficult to distance ourselves from them and this in turn impacts on how we feel and react.  

Everyone struggles with something. We all are  different, we all struggle sometimes, judging and criticising someone when they approach us to inform that they are suffering is insensitive and un-empathetic.  

Are you an executive coach or a life coach?

 Thursday morning, March 11, 2021, around 9.30 am I received a call asking is it Nitin Mistry on line to which I replied ‘Yes’.

 

After a formal Greetings exchanged, a question is put across,’ Are you a Life Coach or Executive coach?’ I gave a 10 seconds pause, putting my reply in a place, the gentlemen continued, “we are looking for an executive coach and if you are a life coach, I will thank you for giving us your valuable morning time.”

 

How our further conversation went and what finally was an outcome is yet another story, which we may discuss some other time but the question “are you a Life coach or an executive coach’ has made me think seriously about coaching from the client’s perspective.

 

I feel it is a gross mistake to assume that life coaching and executive coaching are as specific, well defined and distinct as their names suggests. In fact, they aren’t so distinctly different.

 

The coaches uses the term in front of the word ‘coaching’ to appeal the kind of clients they hope to draw their attention.

For example, a corporate HR executive is more likely to get attracted to Executive coaching or leadership coaching and rightly so because the HR manager has to get the approval from board of directors and the process become easier if the title of coach is in sync with their requirement. An entrepreneur or start-up CEO will look for Business coach title and an individual who is looking for work-life balance will look for life coach title.

 

All caching has same foundation and fundamental values.

 

Coaching is defined by its practice and its results and not by the title, alone.

 

Whether you call yourself an executive coach or a life coach, you will practice your coaching under the guidelines of ICF and according to the coaching competencies defined by ICF.

 

It's a right time to start reflecting!

Many of us already had some concern related to our present job or career, much before the Covid-19 crisis, and were experiencing the need for a change. The locked down situation and unknown and uncertain tenure of pandemic have intensified everyone’s intention and aspiration going for a change.

Not only just a professional reflection, but this period has fostered philosophical reflections for a many people. It means, even if you were not really thinking about any career change, in a broader way, you have been certainly reflecting on the importance of life and your work, and finally the balance between the two.

This unprecedented crisis and the resultant lifestyle, has pushed us to question the purpose in our own job. In other words, to question our own professional existence. This pandemic has reshaped our mind and our thought process, especially the way we work. I am not sure, without pandemic, work from home concept would have been accepted on such a larger platform, across the world. We have learnt that we can be productive and effective while being not available in the office or while being physically apart. So, why not apply to jobs in other region, other country, other continent? I mean we can become a free-lancer, and being a free-lancer become our career.

On the other hand we have experienced a negative impact of post COVID-19, like global economic crisis and a big disruption to industries like – airlines, travel-tourism, hospitality and retail. Those industries are experiencing lay-offs and still a very low visibility of about improved situation, in near future.

A crisis challenges us. It pushes us out of our comfort. If you start reflecting and exploring your career options right now, you will soon become clearer on who you are, what makes you unique and what you want in your career.

Whether you will do a small tweaks to your present job, change industry, change role or embark on a altogether new career… now is always the good time to start reflecting. 

We adapt,  we  develop  ourselves to gain new skills.  We build our resilience.

Consider it as a marathon, and not as a sprint.

So start, get set GO!  

 

Marketing is not a department..

 Marketing is not a department...!!

When we visit any company or Industry, we sure to see a department called marketing. marketing is not a department. You can have account department, design department, engineering department, Admin and HR department, Purchase department and so on...but you can not have a Marketing as a department.

This is because:

$ Every time your receptionist answer a phone call, its a marketing.
$ Every time an email goes from your company, its a marketing.
$ Every activity on your company's website is a marketing.
$ If you receive and welcome customer at your door step is a marketing.
$ If you are in retail business, your checkout counter would be a marketing.
$ If you provide service to your customer is a marketing.
$ If a visitor walks in to your exhibition booth, the courtesy offered is a marketing.

Marketing is not just few individual events or actions you perform. It is the sum total of everything you say and you do.

Who 'Over Coaches'?

 Who OVER coaches?

Yes, overcoaching happens, it's not unusual.
Let us check who would have a tendency to overcoach. It's a general overview (and not a conclusion after a number or researches.)

Overcoaching can happen with:

1. Young, inexperienced coaches who are trying too hard.
2. Coaches who lack real belief in themselves. These coaches will often want to be liked – and they would have a feeling the more coaching they do, the more clients will like them.
3. A Coach who lack belief in his coachee and feel the need to control every element of preparation and performance of his coachee.
4. This is more about the Coaches who work with corporate s and involved in group coaching.
Coaches who are being evaluated or assessed by a client company' s CEO or by CHRO, and that's why they aim to impress by being SEEN to control every element of the training session.

It's said that when you are coaching, if you just step back, your coaching improves.
Your coaching improve s when you are not coaching.

A "Thank You' Note..!!

 A “THANK YOU NOTE” …!

Magical words…..can make a lot more difference.
Present days, Interviewer prefers that a candidate who has undergone a personal interview would send “Thank-You” note.
Majority of people completely ignore this small piece of etiquette.
To have an added advantage over the rest of the candidates for the job you are aspiring for, send thank-you note to HR Personnel with whom there is an interaction for an Interview over emails.
If you have been interacting with other than HR in this regard over phone, pl. try to send a “Thank You “message.
You may check the following reasons of sending “Thank-You” note, which might work in your favor.
§ Sending a thank-you note demonstrates that you have the most basic of ‘people skills’—showing gratitude.
§ It helps companies to remember you after the interview.
§ It has the potential to increase your affinity with those who have the authority to hire you.
§ It indicates that you are an organized person.
§ It demonstrates that you still have an interest in the company and the said position.
§ If they decide not to consider you for that position, perhaps they might re-consider you for another opening that might suit you.

Employee contribution and engagement

 Recognize your employee contributions during difficult times, especially in recent times of crisis.

As an employer, we shouldn't forget that you are not the only one going through difficult times, there are many more, like you or much more than you.

As an employer, you need to give an enough consideration that your employees are having their lives rearranged, reconfigured, reshaped, and still giving 100% when they work, regardless whether from your workplaces or work from homes.

During this time if you recognize those efforts will mean the most to your employees.

It is quite understandable that it can be difficult to track the efforts your employees are putting-in when you are more focused to stabilise your business uncertainties and wish to carry out necessary changes throughout your organization to sustain the business.

Design and formulate your mentoring program for the information you need to provide appropriate employees recognition, although your focus might be on other business priorities.

Your mentors and mentees are a great resource to determine the level of engagement of your business.

Coaching and mentoring

 Often employee coaching is confused with employee mentoring.

While they both are career development programs and both are needed for your employees at different stages, the differences are very important to understand.

In coaching, the Coaching relationships are typically shorter and coaching is used to achieve very specific goals that revolve around employee productivity and performance.
Preferably the coaches are hired from an outside source and it is considered as coach's responsibility to drive and sustain the relationship by setting tasks for the coachee to complete.

Mentoring is an ongoing relationship that is developed between a senior and junior employee.

Mentoring provides guidance and clear understanding to the junior employees, how the organization is going to achieve its vision and mission.
Informally, the immediate manager can be a mentor.

Approach and avoidance theory

 Approach and avoidance theory:::

Individuals tend to delay their decision making process, mainly because they are caught in worrying about the consequences they might have to face, over which they have no control.

Approach- avoidance theory is more prominent in individual's goal setting, wherein an individual think about either a gain or a benefit from achieving the goals or they might keep worrying about the consequences or failure they might face towards their goal achieving journey.

In approach theory an individual looks possibilities and try to see beyond obvious.
In avoidance theory an individual looks at difficulties and get stuck at obvious.

In approach theory an individual can stretch himself to achieve beyond their normal goals.
In avoidance theory an individual can barely reach to his normal goals.

Parents have to learn to manage themselves

 I was talking to parents in mid-fifties, having only daughter in 30s, who is career minded, and is still single.

Parents wants her to get married to a boy of their choice, and should live nearby, to look after them and remain always one call away kind of.
Naturally, daughter would be unhappy with this preference, however she would not like to hurt them by outright refusing their preference.
Both, parents and daughter are fighting their own battles, no one wants other party to lose.
The case would have been quite different if they would have a son and a daughter.
Indian parents look upon Son as support in old age, they believe Daughter will go to her husband's house after marriage.
In foreign countries, the children become independent from their adulthood, start independent family, and parents also learn to manage themselves.
For them, having son or daughter makes no difference.
Nowadays, many Indian parents like to live independently, especially in big cities and having a son or daughter will make no difference to parents in our country too, except in small cities or small towns.
Every one of us should be prepared to live by ourselves. Even between husband and wife, who knows who stays behind alone! We have to learn to live under all circumstances by adopting to the situation.

What Next?

 I was reading an interview of the founder of 'What Next, Coach?'- Stephanie Onwunali, who is a Business Coach & Strategist.

I was very impressed by her coaching niche and the thought process she has put behind this.

Her core focus in ‘What Next’ is on helping young professionals to figure out “What Next?” in their personal life and their upcoming career.

It seems simple, however, if we dive deep inside this, there is an immense potential in this niche, because if you look back on our earlier years, not only we but our friends, colleagues would have face ‘What next?’ at various stages of our life.

Had there been someone like her, our career and resulting life would have been different than today's.

If as a coach, you have a flair to care for and like people and if you believe in them and be willing to help them move forward in the best direction for their chosen endeavors, this ‘Coaching Niche’ would be very rewarding in terms of satisfaction and fulfilment.

Strategic misinterpretations

 Recently I have come across with an interesting term ‘strategic misrepresentation’.

Something very interesting.
Let me explain:
If you have applied for a dream job. Your initial round of personal interview, everything goes well. Last Interview with Senior Manager is scheduled and a question is being asked, “If you could boost up the sales by 30% by cutting the cost by 30%?” Although you are not sure, you still say whatever is necessary to get that job.

Suppose you are G. M – Marketing, negotiating a prestigious order with a corporate company for a product which has a delivery period of at least 8 months. The Client has decided to place order on your company but he need to know your timeline before he pay you advance amount.

The SCM head, a shrewd guy, remove his golden glass, wiping with his handkerchief, shoots a question “When can I expect a delivery? Can I expect the equipment to reach my factory in six months?” You gulp. You don’t want to lie, but at the same time don’t wish to lose order and the advance on delivery ground. You reply “Yes, Sir, just consider it is done”.
When more things are at stake, more exaggerated your answer become.

Strategic misrepresentation is objectively is deceit, but the deceit is professionally acceptable.

This will not be termed as fraud!!