Trust your experience

No one knows the road you have traveled, except you.

Where you are standing, no one might have stood there before.

The path you will tread will always be a new even if you follow earlier foot-prints.

What other people say is from their own perspective.

Your truth is your truth.

It stands strong on your own experience.

You are your own definition. No one can define you.

Your experience would serve you as your teacher, your guide, your navigator.

Your experience is the directive that will lead you forward.

If you trust your experience, the future will never surprise you.

If you know the sea, you know the storm.

Opening-up than closing-in.

Anything that stands between you and your heart gives rise to pain.

Like, talking about the problem is admitting you have a problem.

Admitting problems is the first step towards solving the problem.

You can not solve the problem if you haven't any.

You cant repair the part unless you show where it is broken.

If you hide even a small problem, it will prevent you from getting close to it.

On the other hand, if you reveal your weakness, many come forward to help you.

What you conceal that becomes your ordeal and your suffering.

More you try to protect yourself from every small hurt, you get hurt more in doing so.

Be open. Stand up for your pain.

The world is about taking-in.

It's more about opening-up than closing-in.

Because a ladder is there, hope is also there.

A ladder is always there!

It doesn’t matter how many times and how many snakes you have slid down, there’s always a ladder to go up again.

It doesn’t matter how dark and deep the pit you’re in now, there may be ladder around.

It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve slipped, you can still catch a ladder.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been stuck at the bottom as long as you use the ladder to come up.

A ladder is always there, you may have to look for it.

You may need to feel ‘at the bottom’ or ‘in the dark pit’ to feel the ladder around.

You’ll still need the energy to climb it.

But there is always a ladder there.

And because it’s there, hope is also there!!

We are missing human link

When we talk about leadership, we get two diametrically opposite views from the people who manage and the people who get managed.

For example, if you ask most leaders and they would say they feel they are doing a great job as a manager, mentor, coach, and guide.

On the other hand, ask the people they manage how they feel about the leaders and you’ll hear they feel under-appreciated, undervalued, and unnoticed on many occasions.

What’s missing here is the human link..an effective interaction or connection…getting to know and genuinely care about others.
Compassion for them as people.

Compassion is nothing but a willingness and desire to be kind to others.

It means being thoughtful, considerate, and aware of what other's lives and experiences are like.

It is the opposite of indifference.

Compassion means not seeing others as separate entities, but seeing them as a part of yourself and relating to what they are experiencing at a much deeper level.

Compassionate leadership is all about giving people what they need and not necessarily what they want.

learn to celebrate little victories.

We must learn to celebrate our little victories.

Because, we can’t have bigger victories, or become the legends (we know down deep we have within us) as we wish to become, without these little parts that we bring together and added up to make us a kind of personality we want to become.

Seemingly unbelievable, but there is strength in hitting the 'pause' button.

We need to take stock of what has been accomplished already and finding satisfaction in our achievements.

If we start enjoying our little victories, this will add up larger than legends.

We are going through multiple collapses.

During this lockdown, not able to share our feelings with someone close, can cause SLURRY of negative thoughts and anxiety.
Once this starts happening..it is difficult to RESET the state of mind!
With times, we become more vulnerable and our mental health gives us more tough times. We start feeling HELPLESS.
If we are not able to control these feelings, the intensity, and frequency of this feeling increases.
It's like we are going through multiple small collapses in a day. These small collapses would be easier to handle if we are able to keep our mental health, intact.
And then there’s the panic.
It’s not just worrying about getting sick alone; the list of ancillary worries unfolds like a scroll in our mind.
Some worries we might not have given even the slightest attention in normal circumstances....those worries occupy front seats in our mind in this pandemic situation.
Because we don't know whether our health will be impacted,
we start seeing everything that comes our way as threats.
We might feel panicky with the slightest sound of coughing or sneezing. Our heartbeat faster with sudden doorbell ringing.
This can get us overwhelmed and can cause a great interruption in our daily routine.
It's important to take a break from this kind of triggers which increases our fear response.

You have got to be in to win.

Hey, you have got to be in to win!

You may not get admission to your choice of MBA School.

But if you don’t try, you will never get it.

You may not get applause for your every speech.

But if you don’t go on stage to deliver your speech, you will never get it.

You will not become a super chef of the year.

But if you do not take part in the competition, you will never be able to compete with others.

You may not get every job that you apply for.

But if you don’t apply, you won’t get it.

You may not score a goal on every free-kick.

But if you don’t take a chance to take a free-kick, you will never be able to score.

You won’t be able to close your every deal on your sales call.

But if you don’t discuss with your customer, you’ll never be able to close a deal.

You may not win the local election of your area.

Because no-one can vote for you if your name isn’t on the ballot paper.

It’s tempting to avoid getting off the bench and taking a plunge. The feeling of losing seems to be more disruptive for ourselves.

But what if the feeling of excitement of that ‘one win’ overwhelmed the disappointment of multiple losses we had in the past?

And what if the disappointment of losing we don’t allow to affect us so badly?

It’s in our hands to make things happen for us!

After Lockdown, our engine will be exposed to attack.

An interesting thought for the day:

During World War II, fighter planes were getting hit by anti-aircraft guns.

Air Force wanted to add a protective shield to the planes. The question was "where"?

The planes could only support a few more kilos of weight. Mathematicians and Engineers were called for the project.

Fighter planes returning from missions were analyzed for bullet holes per square foot.

Since the tail portion had the greatest density of bullets, that would be the logical location for putting an anti-bullet shield.

A mathematician said exactly the opposite; more protection is needed where the bullet holes aren't - that is -around the engines.

His judgment surprised everyone.  He said We are counting the planes that returned from a mission. Planes with lots of bullet holes in the engine did not return at all.

Debrief

If you go to the recovery room at the hospital, you’ll see a lot more people with bullet holes in their legs than people with bullet holes in their chests.  That’s not because people don’t get shot in the chest; it’s because the people who get shot in the chest don’t recover.

Source:
From the book -
*How Not To Be Wrong*, by Jordan Ellenberg.

Count how Safe we are at Home.
After the relaxations of lockdown, remember our engines will be exposed.

Compassion, kindness and tolerance is the need of hour.

More than often, in our lifetime, we often have to interact with people whom we don’t like or we don't approve of them or don't always agree with.
But, we sometimes don’t have the choice to allow it to happen or move on or let go of the relationship we are tugged in.
We have no option but to continue no matter what.

However, a small shift we bring in our mindset can go a long way in our day to day interactions with the people.

It is so natural on our part to treat others the way you are treated.
But sometimes you don’t know what they are going through, which can often be the reason for their behavior.

By being compassionate, you can often get a chance to go to the bottom of the facts why someone is the way they are!

The best part of offering radical kindness or being compassionate is that disapproved behavior or hurtful criticism starts hurting you less and less.

Compassion, kindness, and tolerance are needed in our world more than ever before.
Those who have the emotional intelligence to understand it should go out of the way to practice it.

Why it is so hard to be with some people?

We think we are hiding behind our eyes.

Sometimes when we are not good at being with people, we use our eyes to protect ourselves from communicating— we look away, we look down, or we simply close our eyes.
We think we are able to manage but everybody can see us.

Does that really protect us from being with them?
No, noway.
We know they’re still there, right in front of us watching and drilling into us.
We just have an illusion of protection.
We just try to pretend to push them away mentally by averting our glance.

Why it is so hard to be with some people?

Why we do things which we know we are not good at it or wouldn't help.

Your years of insignificance.

I wish to know and meet someone who can talk about their in-between years, the years of insignificance. Not about their successes, or about their achievements, but about their unfulfilled ambitions.  

Someone who has traveled a long distance hoping one day it will click and still hoping, even now.

Someone who can talk about their unfinished race which they are still running not knowing where is the finish line.

Someone who can talk about their efforts to get an hour nap in those long winter nights when multiple issues keeping him awake.

Someone who has traveled and understood what appears to be the most insignificant blind alley of their deepest being.

I am not referring or interested in those who can blow the trumpet or bang a drum in their life orchestra, perform a ritual, and try to look good.

I am interested in the person who will tell how difficult to be a non-performer, non-achiever, unsuccessful, abortive, misfired, ill-fated individual.

Those people are few who come forward, looking straight in eyes and speaking from the heart.

We all want to portray and show what is not there. We try to hide the reality and project what makes us look good.

Many of us unknowingly go through life with “closed heart syndrome.”

It means, when our hearts are closed, we cannot express our full potential, and, therefore, we limit what we allow into our lives.

We limit our careers, our personal relationships, our health, and our overall well-being. 

We understand it well, but we all pass through it one or the other or many times in our life.

Get over being a beginner.

Most beginners make a great mistake, thinking as if each part of their journey would need an equally high level of motivation.

But, in reality, the highest levels of motivation are always needed in the beginning, when you are about to begin.

You have to get out of this beginner’s trap.

When you are a beginner, even you have a talent for something,  you are usually not great to start.

The creek between you and true potential seems super-wide, which actually isn't.

Get over being a beginner!!! Quick!

Whose fault it is?

Whose fault it is?

If you’re not happy with your present situation, who drove you there?

Was it your parents?

Was it your colleagues?

Was it your Boss?

It’s very difficult to pinpoint who because it’s a series of random people and events?

Is it resultant of the wrong decisions you have made?

Do you feel hesitant to take responsibility or feel shy to accept the accountability for?

Or one fine day you just wake up and find yourself in that situation?

If you feel you are not happy with your current situation or the trajectory you are in to, its time to take the steering wheel in your hands.

It’s time to bring about the required change.

It’s time to be responsible for the situation you are in and the situation you want to be in.

If you’re not driving, then it’s whose fault?

It's time to cut down the size of 'BUT'

It’s time to cut down the size of your ‘But’!

I could have done my MBA but…

I could have joined civil services but…

My start-up idea was great but…

I would have cracked the Microsoft interview but…

I could have settled in the USA but…

I could have a successful businessman, but…

I could have become the CEO of my company, but…

My marriage could have a happier marriage, but…

I could have sent my kids for higher studies but…

My finances could be in better shape than now, but…

Think over, our ‘buts’ have a tremendous power on us.

Far too much power than what we can imagine.

It’s time to cut down the size of your but!

It’s time to get rid of these excuses.

It’s time to make life happier and fulfilling by eliminating ‘BUT’s!

Help someone to turn it around.

Help someone to turn around!

Take a mission for you this week.

Find someone who feels hopeless and find a way to give him hopes.

Find someone who looks worried and find a way to take away some worries.

Find someone who feels discouraged and find a way to encourage them.

Find someone who feels he has lost his battle and find a way to offer him the courage to fight back.

Find someone who has lost motivation and find a way to motivate him to move forward.

Find someone who looks lost and find a way to help him to find the right way.

Find someone who thinks that life is a tragedy and give him a reason to smile.

Find someone who thinks life is a never-ending struggle and find a way to ease out his struggle.

And many more such challenges are there!

Surprisingly, when you start looking for such opportunities, you will find them everywhere.

By helping someone to see their life from a different perspective, you have the potential to make a significant impact on their life and the situation around them.

Of course, you won’t be able to change or influence everyone’s life, but you can surely for a few of them.

As you help people to turn around, you are going to feel better about yourself.

Focus less on your own challenges and become more sensitive to the people and their own challenges.

Get started, don’t waste the chance to make a difference in someone’s life.

Think,  how you can help someone to turn it around?

We are not in the same boat. We are in the same storm.

I was completely moved by a message on social media.

Perspective is like this:

We hear people saying we all are in the same boat.
No, we are not in the same boat.
Instead, we should say, we are in the same storm. Your ship could be shipwrecked and mine might not be. Or another way round.
For some, quarantine is a moment of reflection and re-connection. For others, this is a financial & family crisis.
For some it’s a time of endless loneliness, for others it's a wonderful time with their loved ones.
Some are bringing in earning to their households, others have lost their earnings.
Some are planning to cook special dishes at the weekend, others are worried if there are enough bread and milk for the day.
Some want to go back to work, running out of money. Others want to punish those who break the quarantine.
Some have experienced a near-death experience, some have already lost and some are not sure if their loved ones
are going to make it. Others don't believe this virus is a big deal.
Some have a deep faith in God and their prayers, hoping miracles from HIM. Others feel the worst is yet to come.
So, we are not in the same boat. Our perceptions and needs are completely different.
Each of us will emerge, in our own way from this.
Realize this and be kind.

Always think about next move.

6 days ago

I recall beautiful lines for recent times, written by Ayodeji Awosika in his article.

"I built this philosophy to handle any situation. I can’t predict what the future holds, but I can count on change being the only constant, so I structure my life to learn how to be more adaptable every day.

Take the current times we’re in and use them as a lesson.

The crazy thing about this situation is that we’re starting to get used to it!

It’s become a new normal and people are settling into the fact that things won’t be “normal” for quite some time.

Don’t get lulled into complacency now either.

Always think about the next move. Always."

It's like putting pedal to metal.

It makes me believe that COVID-19 would prove as a Great Accelerator.

It’s like putting things to it's 'real test.'

There were different trends that were already emerging and shaping our world before the pandemic hit.

In other words, it can be said like,  societies that were struggling will struggle harder and harder.
Those were collapsing and going through a meltdown, will get into more difficult situations.
Those which were..and of course are cohering and prospering by working on their strengths will build upon their success.

In view of that, it's not appropriate to say that the world won’t get better or will get worse.

It will be both, better and worse.

It will be applied to all of us- individually, as a society, as a community and as a nation in a broader sense.

Which one of those applies to you depends a great deal on where you are today and what are your revival or bounce back plans.

self-coaching

You must have noticed a football coach sprinting along the sidelines with very strong body language screaming and yelling.
There’s no way the player can hear what he’s saying. They don’t even make an attempt to listen to what the coach is saying. They only understand, what they are doing is not okay. Coach expects them to do something different.
Once the player understands, they need to do something different, something extraordinary, the magic starts happening. The game starts changing.
That is because the shift is happening inside. It’s not the words or the advice coach is giving from sidelines, it’s his screaming and strong body language makes the shift inside the player.
That is the moment from where a player starts coaching himself. That is a transformation point where Coach coaching takes a pause, and the player’s self-coaching takes over.
In 90% of sports coaching it happens! Finding motivation from external sources turns to an internal source.

Your Solo Marathon

Your solo Marathon.
In the usual marathon, we have groups, we have large participants.
There is start time.
There is a finish line.
You need to qualify for a marathon.
There is a prescribed route for a marathon.
There is a crowd cheering you up, waiting all throughout the route.
Everything is pre-planned and announced in advance.
There is excitement, energy, and enthusiasm.
Participants are charged up, onlookers are cheering their favorites.
And you have other kinds of a marathon- anyone can run, any day of the year, any time of the year.
Put on your shoes, run your miles, and come back.
Here no crowd, no cheering, throughout your marathon run.
You are running your solo marathon.
You decide your start line and your finish line.
This is exactly what you do in executing a project.
This is exactly what you do when you decide to work upon your idea for a startup business.
This is exactly what you do when you choose your career which is different from a conventional one.
This is exactly what you do when you stand up against all odds to prove your point.
This is exactly what you do when you make a presentation for Investors to convince them to invest in your business.
You run the second kind of solo marathon here!!

You are just a hot air balloon, not an airplane.

You are just a hot air balloon, not an airplane.

Long time I was thinking, I am so knowledgeable, co-operative, people-friendly, I should meet people and share my knowledge with them.

I realized, how naive, how foolish I was thinking like this.

This kind of thinking either at work or in personal life will make you sick, don’t attempt this.

If you think something like:

·       You will go and help everyone

·       You think you can take on the world

·       You will overreach yourself

·       In doing overpromise you will under deliver

·       You will fail, at the end.

You should start realizing that you are a hot air balloon, and people are burdening you with almost everything.

Everyone around you burdens you, it can be your family, your friends, and your colleagues.

And it’s ok and that is what you are there for them. In their case, it’s not like asking less or more burden, but asking for broad shoulders.

Once you understand this, you’ll know you really don’t have much additional capacity and then you will start-

·       Helping the right people and who will help you back.

·       You will become more realistic and know your limits.

·       You will promise only what you can deliver

·       You will succeed

It is important to know who is burdening you and who are extending support.

You are not written off until you do yourself !

In our own lives there come occasions when others write us off. They make a judgment about us.

It may be a teacher who doesn’t believe you will get through the exam.

It may be your colleague who doesn’t believe you can deliver before the deadline.

It may be a boss who doesn’t believe in our capabilities. 

It may be those around us think that we have lost our spark and charisma.

Or it may be a set of circumstances that have worked against us.

George Patton said, “You’re never beaten until you admit it.”

Don’t listen to the cynics.  Don’t let your circumstances define you and your future.

Just because others have written you off, don’t write yourself off as well.

Perhaps you just need a small clue or small tip, which would change your game plan.

You need to work extra hard and believe once again in your own capabilities ‘Yes I can, I will”.

Despite what others are saying or thinking, you should believe in yourself that the best is still yet to come.

We don't keep Hippo as a Pet !

We don’t keep Hippo as a pet!

No matter what are the circumstances, you don’t keep a hippo as a pet, or you risk eventually your life and your well-being.

This is a rule by all means and you can’t think of any exception to this.

You can’t get away with it.

Like the smoker who ignores the warning printed on box finally pay a price for his health.

It’s a rule and you can’t get away with it. It’s like keeping Hippo as a Pet.

Like the married man who flirts in the office, thinking he will get away with it. It’s a Hippo as a Pet.

Like the mother who spends excessive time in the kitty parties and friends circle, ignoring her family.

Like the employee who just hangs around through the day at work, hoping that no-one would notice. A big Hippo.

Like the parent who doesn’t clearly draw boundaries of discipline and behavior for their children, yet expect them to grow up as disciplined and well-mannered adults.

Like some people who consistently drink and drive thinking there will not be any consequences.

They are all keeping hippos as pets.

Because eventually, the rule always applies, occasionally you may get away with it.